"It’s nighttime when I become aware of all of the things weighing on me. It’s nighttime that is the hardest. This is because I am forced to lay in bed, no music to listen to, no book to read, no person to talk to, in order to fall asleep. It becomes nothing but my thoughts, and I am consumed within them. I am eaten alive by fears; I am reminded of all of the pain I distract myself from while awake, and the pain I’ve suffered through in the past. It’s like once I look into myself fully, allow my mind that acknowledgement, I can’t get back out. I get stuck within everything I dread to feel and trapped between things I don’t want to remember. God. The nightmare begins before I even fall asleep."